Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Phone call from Windows Online Support


[phone call from distant sounding Indian gentleman]

Is this a business number?
- why?

Because your windows have serious troubles.
- I've shut the window now, so I can hear you.

I am calling from Windows online support, we need to help you fix the serious troubles with widows
- like Scottish Widows?

I am calling to fix very serious problems with your Microsoft windows
- which version?

All versions
- really? From 3.1 through NT to Win7 and even server 2008?

Yes, why are you smiling? This is a serious problem.
- you can't see me can you?

This is a very serious problem, your computers are downloading very bad viruses.
- what do you want me to do?

We need to fix your computers
- what's wrong with them? TCP-IP issues? Are there packet buffer overflow issues?

... mumbling...
- I can continue to speak to you but I will have to report what we do to my friends at the Metropoliton Police central e-crime unit

Can I speak to your boss please?
- I am the IT manager, you can speak to me.

You are IT manager? Then you know you have problems.
- how do you know what computers we have if you didn't know if this was a business number?

We only get given numbers
- I can't be bothered with this any more

[call terminated]